The Three Levels of Change


One of the main purposes of QuitPornGetGirls is simply to enhance your experience of being alive.

If you want to make the most of your life, and live an enjoyable fulfilling life, merely reaching your goals is not enough.

You must find an enjoyable way of attaining your goals. The process itself must be so worth it that dying while moving towards your goals will not be a big deal.

I believe that for men, the best way to succeed is from the inside out. We’ve been trained to succeed on the outside first, and then inner change supposedly comes.

This is not wrong. In fact, it is very effective. You can be the most negative, unhappy person with horrible life circumstances and still achieve your goals- financial success, quit porn, date a ton of attractive women and even find your ideal life partner.

However, this approach comes with a heavy emotional, mental and physical toll. You’ll probably end up as a wealthy bitter and sick old man.

Now, this is just my 32 year old opinion, so you’re welcome to take it with a grain of salt.

I started fending for myself financially at the age of 16. In those 16 years, I’ve learned that there are three levels of change. I’ve been through all many times- in fact, to the point that my 16 year old self is unrecognizable physically to me right now.

Level 1: Situational

Lets say you were struggling with quitting porn, or you needed to stay motivated to achieve a short term goal- like a 12 week workout program to lose weight, or you need to improve your closing ratio at your sales job.

You’d read a specific book on the topic, enroll in a class or you might even reach out to a friend, therapist, performance coach or sales coach. With this sort of support, you go from inaction to action or from fear to confidence.

The effects of this sort of change are very situation based and specific. When the issue has been handled, the weight lost, the closing ratio increased, you get on with you life as you usually did.

This is the realm of TECHNIQUES.

Level 2: Life Area

Now, sometimes a specific situation doesn’t matter. Its a complete area of your life that requires change.
It could be:


This takes a little more work. You may not only read a few books on the topic, but you might enroll in a seminar, study multiple courses and seek out a professional who specializes specifically in changing these areas.

This is the realm of STRATEGIES.

Level 3: Transformation

Transformation is a situation where you realize that your entire “self” needs to change. Changing a specific area of your life, developing a new skill or improving a certain feeling is no longer enough.

We want to change our entire “selves” to be better. A total upgrade.

This change also does one more thing.

It changes our experience of EVERYTHING in our lives.

This is the realm of PARADIGMS.

So, which is best?

It actually doesn’t matter.

I’ve seen guys with Level 1 problems trying to implement Level 3 solutions. Like a guy who is a virgin, but is trying to learn how to become a man who women are instinctively attracted to and “chase”.

Great goal to have, but his immediate issue is how to put his penis in a consensual vagina. Level 1 stuff.

Here’s a personal illustration of how this works.

My Story of experiencing the Three Levels of Change

In my late teens to early twenties, I went through a dark period of mediocrity, characterized by extreme hate and anger within me. I hated society, women, successful guys, a lot of stuff. I was frequently depressed and unmotivated to accomplish anything.

I spent a lot of time as an online “troll”. Visiting forums to hate on people and being an arm chair expert on things I wished I could do such as bodybuilding. I was the guy commenting on Youtube videos on how some guys lifting technique sucked because I’d read up sooo much on the topic.

I was terrible at time management and frequently spent hours playing online games, masturbating and smoking week. Often times, I did all three, all day.. Maybe it was the porn, maybe it was something deeper…but I knew that I didn’t like the way I was living my life.I didn’t know whether to get on medication or see a therapist, so I just kept watching porn and masturbating when I felt stressed out.

But I did want change. Whenever I got high, I would gravitate towards motivational videos and books. I guess I liked the mental masturbation.

Eventually, I grew sick and tired of reading “motivational books”.  I wanted something relatively straightforward that would bring about noticeable change in a short amount of time. One day, I clicked on one of those click bait ads that promises to “make you ripped within 90 days”. This one was aimed towards “hard gainers”- guys who found it challenging to put on muscle. Within 90 Days, it promised, I would back on 10- even 20 pounds of muscle.

I had always been skinny, and my dream was to be muscular and “ripped” with low body fat.

“90 Days”, I thought.

“Surely I can so that without fucking it up.”

So I channeled my rage into bodybuilding.It worked.

Except for the fact that I didn’t put on 20 lbs of muscle in 90 Days. It took about 6 months, but I looked better than I ever had.

I felt that I could at least control something in my life and that felt great.

That semester, I enrolled in only two easy classes so that I could focus on changing my body. I took it seriously- getting 8 hours of sleep per night, eating several small meals per day, taking the right supplements and working our hard and efficiently at the gym. I subscribed to Men’s Health Magazine and lived and breathed bodybuilding.Unknowingly, the routine, discipline, rest and reduced stress from college classes helped me make changes in my situation. I felt in control.

Level 1 unlocked

During fall break that year, I decided to enroll in a free 10 Day Meditation course. It was called Vippassana Meditation. 10 Days of silence, vegetarian meals, out in the countryside. I always wanted to try meditation, but I never had a good enough reason to. After reading about an Indian Vegetarian champion bodybuilder who attributed his discipline to meditation, I resolved to try it if it would make me tougher. It sounded like some mystical trial a martial arts student from the movies would undergo, so I enrolled.

Meditating for 6- 8 hours a day was really tough. Over the 10 Days of meditation, nothing mystical happened, but I did some great strategies for observing my anger and negative emotions instead of engaging them and rolling in them for hours or even days. Simple strategies, but they became tools I used often.

Level 2 unlocked.

As began to build my body at the gym and my mind through meditation, I realized that I was getting much happier. A few things were happening:

I was getting noticably muscular and girls were starting to give me compliments.
I had to buy better fitting clothes for my new physique with resulted in more positive attention from people
I was meditating regularly, which led me to gain control over my emotions. This control gave me a lot more confidence.

I finally came to a realization that I had control over my mind and body. It took about a semester to come to these realizations. I was no longer full of anger. Whenever I felt anger, it would dissipate quickly as I observed it.

Over Christmas break at the end of that semester, I found myself still maintaining my habits of waking up early, meditating and going to the gym. I  figured that this was the best I had ever felt, and perhaps this was my “thing”, so I resolved to live as this new, healthier, mentally tougher person.

Paradigm shift.

Level 3 unlocked.

But was it really that simple?

How do I know I achieved Level 3 change?

Two things happened that year which convinced me that I had achieved Level 3 change.

The first was I made a decision to give up porn and masturbation forever. Till the day I died. The only way I would orgasm was if I had sex or in a wet dream. It would be two more years till I finally quit for good.

The second thing that happened early the next year was my false rape accusation. It was a long and terrifying ordeal. It happened on my 20th birthday.

Long story short, I was falsely accused of rape and ended up in jail until the guys who had consensual sex with my accuser showed up and cleared my name.

A year ago, I would have crumbled under the pressure. Here a just a few of the things I went through:

  • Interrogated for over 7 hours, the detectives telling me to just confess I did it and I’d be out of prison in 8-11 year.
    Being deliberately locked in a cell block with prisoners being transferred from a maximum security prison in order to scare me into confessing
    My name being utterly destroyed at my college. I was ostracized by everyone who thought I was a rapist.
    Having to publicly face a student government and college panel which wanted me expelled
    Not allowed to go within 20 feet of any of the dorms for the rest of my college career, even though I was cleared of any wrong doing.

Despite my fear, I was confident I would get through the situation. In jail, thanks to my consistent bodybuilding lifestyle, I weighed 225lbs at 6 foot 1 when I went in. Instead of being victimized by the men who were being transferred, they admired my physique and invited me to work out with them everyday for the week I was locked up.

My meditation practice deepened, as I had a lot of free time to sit in silence.

Had I been on merely, Level 1 or Level 2 stage of change, it would have been game over.

I would have freaked out during the marathon interrogation and said something stupid. I would have shown fear in jail and maybe ended up as a victim because I let it show. I would have felt shame when I returned to campus, and maybe have even transferred schools to avoid being treated like a pariah.

Instead, I bounced back, stronger than ever.

Perhaps Level 3 saved my life.

From then on wards, I began to search to find ways to achieve fast Level 1,2 and 3 changes in my life. In everything I did, whenever I reached a roadblock I could not overcome myself, I sought out someone who had overcome it before me.

Before I knew it, my life was unrecognizable. I remember writing this post two years ago marveling at how different my life was.

Truly greater than my wildest dreams.

Today, its even bigger and better.

Don’t get me wrong- it comes with much greater challenges, but when you level up, you learn than life designed you to handle any challenge it throws at you.


Just fucking level up. Life literally rewards, dare I say BLESSES those who consistently level up. Life, nature, the universe are in a constant state of change. Thus, you as their creation work in tandem with IT when you embrace change.

What if ALL your dreams could become a reality if you could just make that Level 3 paradigm shift. That transformation. That evolution from one human being to a completely different one.

And not just once- but several times in one life time!

Look at Arnold Schwartzenegger:

-Soldier in the Austrian army to

-European bodybuilding champion to

-American Bodybuilding Champion to

– Construction worker while a part time college student to

-Marketing and Seminar millionaire working for Joe Weider to

-Real estate Investor to

-Extra in movies to

-Hollywood Star to

-American Royalty by marrying a Kennedy to

– Governor of the State of California to

-Movie Star again, to

-Donald Trumps replacement on the Apprentice to who knows what else.

Goddammit! Just writing out this mans accomplishments makes me want to toss this laptop away and run to the nearest gym to smash some heavy weights.

THAT is a man who implemented Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3 change throughout his life and he had mentors all the way.

From his first bodybuilding mentors in Gratz, Austria who showed him the basics of bodybuilding to Steve Reeves, to Franco Colombu teaching him construction, he had mentors every step of the way.

The man is 70 years old. Some of you will be DONE  by 39 . Game over. Married unhappily, Porned out, Sick, Overwhelmed by debt and a job you hate or just comfortable and average.

You know, the guy who say ” I’ve heard all the stuff before. I’m thankful of the little things I have in life. My kids, my wife, my mortgage, and my job. I’m content and comfortable- what more could a man ask for?”

Then you die. That was it. That was your life.

You came, you fucked, you ate, you had some kids, you watched some porn,  you masturbated like a lonely captive beta male monkey in a zoo, you worked to make some guy rich and level up, you bought some stuff some guys said you should buys because it made you temporarily happy, you played some video games, some golf and then you died.

Sounds like the life of a barnyard animal to me.

Most average people fear change or the the very best only want small changes in their life.

The big changes scare the shit out of you. Too far out of your comfort zone- too much risk.

When you are ready to make that change, Masculine Mentorship can help you.

Porn Recovery Coaching  is Level 1.

I will still offer it, but in 2017, I’m offering Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3.

I’m exhausted just thinking of the energy I will put into this, but it has to be done. Too many men recover from porn through my coaching, the stroll away into oblivion.

Reply to this email to reach me and find out if it’s right for you.

Enrollment closes on Friday, February 24th, 2017.

Mentorship begins March 1st, 2017.

Don’t wait. Participate.

Click on the image below to enroll and as always,

Be Happy,

Chris Haven

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