Four Stages of Recovery From Porn Addiction

Earlier this week, as part of my advice for winning in 2017 I shared my new , no bullshit barometer for porn addiction. Its quite simple:

If you haven’t been able to stay off porn and masturbation for a minimum of 90 Days, you are a porn addict.

This is aimed at guys who think they have a “bad habit” and lie to themselves about their addiction.

If you truly give up pornography, there should me massive, noticeable changes in your life.

You should be happier, more fulfilled at your work or school ( or making more money/better grades), an interest in health/fitness should arise, and much more.

This site helps serious guys recovery from porn addiction and get to the next level in relationships.

Today, I will show the four stages of recovery from porn addiction and how long it REALLY takes to quit porn.  I have been free from porn and masturbation for ten years and 2 months. I have successfully helped hundreds of men recover for the past 6 years.

This will be a wake up call from your bullshit- especially those me who thought that getting engaged, getting married, having a kid, taking up a new sport, recruited into the army, transferring to a new city, getting a new job or any other sort of major life change would miraculously cure their porn addiction.

It won’t.

At the very best, it will buy you a few months- sometimes even a year or two- but eventually, it will come back to haunt you.

For those not fooling themselves- those who are ready to learn, this post will be a great “mile marker” for you on your journey.

Stage 1

Survival Stage: 3 months – 1 year

This stage lasts anywhere from 6 months to one year. The priority in this stage is quitting all behaviors which lead to a relapse. This includes a strict control of internet devices, deleting all emails and accounts that lead to porn use, deleting dating apps and social media if they are triggering. Logistics are also sorted out. This means, if you live with your parents or partner, changing the location where you watch porn to somewhere more public, leaving the door open while browsing, removing the password protection from your phone and so on.

The purpose of this stage to to build a solid foundation for a porn free life and literally have a start date for overcoming your addiction. I know I’ve been off porn for 10 years and 2 month, because I had a start date. During this periods, all issues relating to porn addiction are immediately handled and a porn recovery plan is put in place for the next three months.

To graduate from this stage, all masturbation and porn use must have ended.

Again, to move on from Stage 1, you must have been off porn and masturbation for three months.

95% of guys never get past stage 1. Instead, they play games with this stage for the rest of their lives.

The reason why they never get past this stage, is because passing stage 1 requires you to defeat two final level bosses:

  • Denial
  • Resistance

Most guys die at the final bosses.

Personal Example: I never truly quit porn until I accepted the fact that my ego didn’t want me to label myself as an addict. 13 years and I kept trying to “quit for 30 days”. My ego constantly fed my denial which created more resistance.

I seemed very good at finding “research” which proved that it wasn’t an addiction and it was just a bad habit. Staying away from porn for 7 month, or in one case a year and a few months made me feel as if I had beaten it.

Nope. It was just a game of the ego.

For a man to give up pornography permanently, and life a truly awesome life, he must first overcome his first enemy.

The ego.

Stage 2

Stability Stage: 6 months- 2 years

This stage begins anywhere from 6 months to two years of being off pornography. You should have a deep understanding of your relationship with pornography by this point, and have developed a daily routine which helps your recovery. Usually your routine is an unconscious habit by now.

At this stage, you have defeated Denial and Resistance. Your progress is measurable and you legitimately feel a healthy sense of accomplishment. You look forward to seeing your therapist or coach, studying your recovery program or reading recovery books

To pass this stage you must :

  1. Come to terms with all the behaviors that porn addiction has lead you to. This includes acting out with prostitutes, attempting to reach out to transgender or gay men due to you escalating tastes in porn, trying to act out specific “porn scenes” with your partners or spouse and so on.
  2.  Have been off pornography and masturbation consistently for 6 months.

Personal Example: For instance, this blog QPGG.com began as a simple journal  as part of my  daily routine and it has evolved into one of the top resources for internet porn addiction on the internet and has helped hundred of men.

I was fully recovered when I began writing, but the site strengthened my recovery.

( Fun fact: All my one on one clients are required to submit to a polygraph test at the 6 month mark to confirm that they are ready to move on to the next stage.)

 

Stage 3

Maintenance Stage: 2- 3 years

This stage begins anywhere from 1 year to three years into recovery and can last for about one year.

You are now absolutely honest about your sexual life.

You a stable monogamous or non- monogamous (multiple partners) relationship (s) and are improving in this area.

Your knowledge of yourself and recovery is deep.

Basically, you have taken full responsibility for your recovery.

At this time, you are ready to move on from an accountability partner, therapist or coach.

In the case of the men I coach, this is where I speak to them only three or four times a year just to check in.

To move on to the next stage, you must:

Be free from pornography, slips relapses, and any other sort of related acting out behavior for a MINIMUM of 1 year.

Dealt with a majority of deep anger issues

Capable of maintaining functional, happy relationships with women

Personal Example: At this stage, my success rate at dating women increase dramatically.

I was more confident, attractive and had a higher sense of self esteem than I had ever had.

I could go out three times a week and get laid once. My casual relationship were with healthy, sexual and open women.

These casual relationships and time spent having sex with multiple women helped free me of many of my misconceptions about relationships, my attractiveness, and my value as a man.

 

Stage 4

Mastery: 2-3 Years

Men at this stage should have been recovering for two to three years. Your progression in this stage depends on :

  • How bad you really want porn out of your life
  • Whether you work alone or with a therapist or coach (slap on one more year if you don’t have either)
  • How strong your maintenance plan from Stage 3 is

The first 6 to 12 months of this stage are usually spent working on deeper issues not related to porn. Sometimes they are childhood issues, issues with women, spiritual dilemma and other beliefs.

You are able to do a lot of these on your own by now, and a therapist or coach is only necessary for a quick check in or for help with getting over a particularly bothersome issue.

Your maintenance plan has become a seamless part of your life.

Personal Example: For over a decade, I have maintained a strict daily routine, missing only a few days each year, which covers my physical health, mental health, mindset and financial health.

It all began with 15 minutes every morning dedicated to my recovery from porn addiction and evolved into a 2-3 hour ritual, that has enable me to build a great physique, build two successful businesses from scratch with any prior experience, and remain immune to negativity, sadness or depression.

My recovery from pornography addiction was’t a “drag” or ” too hard”. Ironically, it has helped me create a life which I didn’t know how achieve.

I have freedom, I look and feel better than most men my age, I am driven, and better off financially than I would have been if I followed the path society set up for me. My closest friends and now my family are aware of my struggles with porn and they have nothing but respect for me.

When you successfully recover, people who never listened to your good natured advice will now be drawn to you. You will exude a certain type of “energy”- a self assurance than only comes from following a disciplined process like Porn addiction recovery from beginning to end.

Recovery can be a blessing instead of a burden. It takes work, but every aspect of your life grows with it.

I wish you all the best on your journey to overcome your porn addiction.

If you don’t agree with any of the above, and still think your porn use can be “easily fixed”, but you’ve never gone 90 Days without watching porn or masturbating, do yourself a favor and avoid this blog. We’re trying to cut down on the number of guys who aren’t serious about their recovery or relationships with women.

Don’t email to ask if your situation is different. Its not.

 

QuitPornGetGirls Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching provides you with accountability, recovery calls, daily exercises and emotional support with your porn addiction. Whether you need short term help or advice, or long term recovery coaching, we have a plan to help you.

Pick a convenient plan today

Opt In Image
DID YOU FIND THIS POST HELPFUL?

 

Join 7,000+ other subscribers and get your FREE copy of  "The Porn Recovery  Manual". Enter your email address below and hit Get Yours!

We hate spam as much as you do. No worries.

  • adityadamarwulan

    I wanna ask you…I’m on stage 1, I relapsed for 3 years since I have found NOFAP. My question is…is going into a gym a necessary? thanks,,,,,

    • That’s up to you. Exercise is always a great supplement to recovery, but it is NOT a solution.

  • Kenny James

    This is excellent. Very Helpful!

Copyright © 2016 - 2017 QuitPornGetGirls. All Rights Reserved. Created by Blog Copyright.

Powered by WishList Member - Membership Software
Read previous post:
17 Ways To Crush 2017

How many years have you set goals and and failed to achieve them? If I could show you a few...

Close