30 Dark Truths About Women I’ve learned in 30 Years

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I wrote the article a year ago when I turned 30, but only had just over 20 “truths” at the time. It took another year of dating, research and coaching men to finally reach 30 truths.

I’ve been fortunate enough to live for extensive periods of time in three countries on three different continents. From 2005-2015, I ran a large international sales organization in each of those countries recruiting both men and women. During that time I recruited, trained and promoted hundreds of women, and while I never “dipped my pen in company ink”, I certainly dated women in all three countries. I learned a lot about women during this period, having mentored women who are now highly successful business owners in their own right.

Each culture was vastly different from the next and despite being great at what I did professionally, I was an introverted guy of average looks. I had to go through a painful learning and self development curve to build an active and satisfying dating life.

For the record, most of the women I have dated or had sex with had no desire to be in a relationship with me. I was for the majority of my twenties what Chris from GoodLookingLoser refers to as a “scumbag”- basically, the sort of man women have spontaneous sex with and never tell another soul. Part of this was due to the conservative nature of my work, the long 65-80 hour weeks that didn’t leave much time to “date” in the traditional sense and the rest it was due to my being a “late bloomer”-being a virgin till the age of 21 and having a strong desire to make up for the years I “lost”.

Only three sort of women have been interested in long term relationships with men like me:

  • Traditional women raised in patriarchal societies in a traditional family where the father was the “head” of the family-typically Asian and Hispanic women
  • Women with extremely low self esteem- usually women who were formerly overweight and were yet to calibrate their looks with with their budding self esteem.
  • Independent, attractive career women in their late twenties whose “clock was ticking” or who were attracted to my lifestyle which was simultaneously busy-I loved sales/ recruiting, I was relatively successful for my age and I worked for myself.

Based on these three types of women whom I have been in relationships with and scores of other women of varying backgrounds who will never admit they had sex with me( unless I become extremely wealthy and famous and they pull a “Cosby” on me 40 years down the line), as well as recruiting interviewing, hiring , working alongside and training a few hundred women, I have discovered these truths about women.

These view fly in the face of conventional “truths” told by society. Most women know these are true, but will never admit it because it exposes their true nature and everything they have built their lives on. Most men will refuse to believe any of these for two simple reasons: you have been conditioned from day one to believe that you have always been powerful and that you have historically used your superior power to subjugate and make women suffer.

  1. Women prefer not to work. Most women prefer comfort and safety over work and achievement. When women discover (usually as children) that they don’t really have to work for anything in life the way a man does, and that men will take care of them, they automatically decide that there is no need for them to truly exert themselves in the way that men do. In my industry, women “broke schedule”, ( not making sales calls when you should be) more than men, and they recruited men to do the same. Sadly, many a salesman lost his job because he believed these women would perhaps fulfill their fantasy of on the job sex. This never happened because only my best salesmen slept with female sales reps and always after they exceeded their quota.
  1. Women are not mens equals. This is not biological. Women and men have the exact same intellectual potential. Women have tendency to not maximize their potential because they don’t have to. A woman being as intelligent, creative and enterprising as a man is not necessary for her survival.
  1. Women lack ambition and are only forced into it by men. Many of the women who joined my company only did so because their boyfriend or husbands recruited them. In 7 years, only one woman climbed the ranks my company to become a district sales manager. All others preferred to remain as sales reps.
  1. Women do not fear men. In fact, I believe that women merely tolerate men. Today’s woman has been brainwashed by the feminist notion that she is a trophy to be won and men have to prove themselves to “get her”. Thirsty men emasculated by government, discriminatory laws, pornography and an economy that beats them down prove to women that there is truly nothing to fear.
  1. Women are indifferent to a men’s opinions of them -they only care about other women’s opinions. Guys today are freaking out about another guy compliment their girl on Instagram without realizing that one womans compliment is worth a hundred compliments from random guys.
  1. Its a woman’s world-to women. Women will side with other women in a majority of issues- regardless of whether it is right or wrong. They believe that they are inherently good and men are inherently bad . Just watch Disney’s Maleficient- a movie I’m glad I watched, because I finally realized that my childhood love of Disney would never transfer over to my future progeny.
  1. After the age of 25- physically, its down hill for most women except the genetically gifted. After 30, it takes cosmetic surgery, a rigorous diet and a disciplined gym routine to maintain her looks. Having good genetics is a plus.
  1. Women are only interested in things that are of personal interest to them. Literally nothing else.
  1. A mothers perogative is to raise a man who can take care of himself and provide for others as well. This is why many women are jealous of their mothers affections towards their male siblings.
  1. Women have successfully, over time programmed men to treat them a certain way. Every other point in this article will increasingly emphasize this.
  1. Feminine-“Feeling”, “Vulnerability” and “Depth” are all illusions .Women fight vulnerability and feelings because it puts them at risk to fall for the few men who cannot be manipulated. The men who will have sex with them and move on unaffected.
  1. Women suppressed men’s ability to express his emotion. The simplistic explanation that men did this by telling young boys to “be a man” is simple not true. When I misbehaved, by father would beat me with a belt, a stick, or he would hand out, with extremely callused hands, a “Double Whopper”, which is a regular slap quickly followed with a devastating, momentum fueled, back hand. He would then calmly and equanimously tell me quit crying and be a man. I’m glad for every whooping I got, because when adulthood came around, and life beats me harder than my father ever did, I get up without one damn tear duct stimulated and carry on. Guess what will happen to the men today who are raised by single mothers, emasculated fathers and homosexual parents when life beats them down? Their self belief will dissolve like a wave- pummeled sand castle- and they will will join the many hordes of broken men that will inhabit our future.
  1. Most women will not leave a man who cheats on them- simply because it gives them the upper hand in the relationship. From personal experience, there are only two options for a man if he is caught “cheating”.

-Deny it forever despite all the evidence.(most women have a tendency to eventually rationalize it).

– Leave the woman without an explanation or apology.

  1. Sex is a service given to a woman. Once I realized this, I stopped worrying about whether a woman I was having sex with had an orgasm or not. I learned that society had put the responsibility of orgasm on me. Sorry, but as it is, I already have enough responsibilities by virtue of being male. Only a few men will ever understand this first hand, though- men who have consistently had sex with the most beautiful of women. Extremely beautiful women ( international runway model caliber, for instance) are absolutely non-responsive in bed. From Singapore to Paris- they all just…lay there.

For men who haven’t experienced this caliber of woman- you aren’t missing anything, but don’t let me dissuade you from your desires to have sex with such a woman for the experience. After the initial novelty of having sex with a woman in the top “1%” wears off, you’ll probably prefer a Fleshlight to her on most nights. If you do find one who is a freak, please write about it and share with your brothers. I’m kidding- there are more important things to write about.

  1. When I was growing up- religion was a tool used by women- now the government is the new tool. Religions plants the seed of sexual shame in men. Men have less control over their sexuality and are more likely to experience sexual shame from early in their childhood. Women on the other hand, have been traditionally trained to control their sexuality- to have children or gratify a man. As a result, they are conditioned to not have any remorse- after all, it was their “role”. Fast forward a couple of decades and women have been “empowered” to have sex with as many partners as possible seemingly without consequence.

This is why when a woman cheats on a man, she experiences much less remorse. A man who cheats on his significant other- no matter how much of a “player” he is will most likely have to repress his guilt in one way or the other.

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There is talk of women’s sexuality being controlled- in actuality, it is men’s sexuality that has been controlled over the years. Why? Because there is no pleasure greater than sex for the majority of men.

Now that sex has become available to even the most average of men through dating apps, etc- women seek to control men through false rape accusations, passing of restrictive laws and a narrative of male aggressiveness and the fictitious notion of “rape culture”.

  1. Men have been conditioned by society, religion and their mothers to believe in hard work, unadulterated truth, honesty and marriage- or committed relationships. Unfortunately, this is not the case with women. Take lying, for example. I personally believe that every individual reserves the right to lie. Lying allows us to live free because it keeps society from controlling every aspect of your life. In this regard, we all lie. Heres what really sucks about lying: if everyone lies, lying becomes obsolete. Lying, in it most pristine form, however is rare. Its rarity makes it available only to a select group of people- women.

Now, many may freak out and insist “Men all lie!!”, but this is untrue and our world proves it. In the domain of men- lying is destructive. If a sergeant in battle lies to his superior, the battle is lost. If a pilot lies to his co pilot, they both die-as do their passengers, and so on. Among men, lying is reserved for the lowest of low- con men, politicians and unintelligent criminals. A smart and successful criminal, contrary to what popular culture may popularize usually has his own code of honor. If he didn’t, he’d be dead or in prison. Lying does not move civilization forward. Men are trained by their mothers, as children to believe that lying is “bad”.

Women will train men in their relationships to regret the day he ever lied to her. Any guy who’s been caught in a lie with his ( and admitted it) can attest to this. She will never let it go.

Women, on the other hand, historically- until recently, never having to do the work of men, have been conditioned to lie in order to control men. This is how, throughout history, women have swayed great men. And men forgive them for it. Still doubt me? Open any popular womens magazines and you’ll find countless examples of it. The only thing is that, it isn’t described as “lying”.

I used to believe that some women were “pathological liars”, but I came to learn that they all lie save for one kind of woman: A woman who grew up in a household or culture with a strong disciplining father- and even that woman- exposed to enough feminism and dating weak men, will be corrupted.

  1. Women are consumers, Men are producers: I spent a decade running a direct sales company. Women are the greatest consumers on the planet. 80% of my sales over the years have been to women. I’ll never forget closing a big sale to the wife of a car dealership owner, only to find out, coincidentally that he had sold my then girlfriend her car a few months later ! I suppose he had to earn the commission to pay for my product somehow.

Go into the home of most married men. Half the shit in his living room is made for women and sold to them.

A recent survey showed that the two cars women found most sexy in a man were : a Porsche coupe and a Ford F150. The truck came in first place. The reason why was never expressed, but here’s my opinion:

Women find a man with a truck attractive because he works and is probably a dependable source of income and other traditionally masculine traits.

Women find a man with a Porsche attractive, because they’ll get a chance to drive it.

A man buys a truck for practical purposes. He buys a porsche to attract women. Ask yourself- if there were no women on earth to admire the car I drive, which of those two cars would I pick?

  1. Many women have children to justify a lack of responsibility. If a woman is given the choice between having the professional life of a hardworking man versus not working, having children and being supported by a man- despite all the outrage that would engender, most women would choose the latter.

I learned these in my early days of my sales career- cold calling on the projects all over the Deep South- Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama,North and South Carolina, as well as some parts of Florida. Why the projects? I had a product that was irresistible to women. There are rarely any men to be found in black *country* projects. They are full of women and countless children of multiple fathers. Women who by my product before they took care of their children. As for sales girls who were recruited by their boyfriends or husbands to sell? Those who boyfriends never became sales superstars eventually left them for the top male sales reps whom they promptly married. Those who were already married to sales reps who were at best mediocre, left sales to pursue some sort of home based online business or the other.

  1. Women love conditionally. Women will love only their own children- never the children of others. This is evident in the “wicked step mother” tales from various cultures. It is also evident in the fact that women will only love children who are not her when she is absolutely unable to have a child of her own. There are more single, financially independent women in their thirties in this country who claim they love children, but love a pitbull or chihuahua more than they do a child.

But Chris, you asshole- women go through prolonged childbirth, pregnancy and have to take care of babies- why would a woman go through those pains if she doesn’t love children?

Answer: The ability to get pregnant and have children are the very factors that allow women to gain security, comfort and freedom from men and from the state. Its a “sacrifice” that has filled men with guilt for centuries. Women will not give that illusion up-despite the fact that modern medicine had advanced so much that risk during child birth today is a far cry from what it was a century ago.

Basically, for many women today, pregnancy is like a rigged Vegas slot machine with a guaranteed win. You put something in, and money, comfort and freedom from responsibility come out. Yes- a rigged Vegas slot machine is a wonderful fantasy – for men. For fertile women,its a reality.

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  1. Women are NOT complex creatures: Freud and many other men have gone to great lengths to figure out who women are and “what women want”. We live in a world where men have set the standard of intelligence and it is based on the psychology of other men. Women are without a doubt, psychologically different from men. There is a reason why there is an “under-representation” of women in STEM fields and that is because most women cannot and will not engage in disciplines that require more than memorization. All men- especially men in long term relationships KNOW that their girlfriends or wives are not of the same psychological caliber as them. However, its not politically correct to say so in 2016, so we keep up the term “female intuition”

Here’s a tip for guys out there dating a woman casually. If you find yourself consistently impressed with her range of knowledge on numerous matters- political, technological, etc- I guarantee you she didn’t seek out that information for her own intellectual pleasure- she obtained it from another man. A woman cannot afford to subscribe to one particular intellectual discipline, because if she finds herself in a situation where the majority of her prospects for dating or longterm relationships are in another unrelated discipline, she’s screwed.

  1. Women and men are only mutally interested in one thing- other women.
  1. Womens entire physical appearance is an illusion that is destroying too many men. Women shit like you, many have more body hair than you, some have moustaches which they bleach, others have had so much sex with men on PEDs, that they are sprouting facial hair.

If you see some snake oil being marketed on Instagram- from “breast enhancement pills” to waist trainers, its all marketed to female consumers who will do whatever it takes and spend any amount of money to maintain their youth- to the point of buying scams.

I’m a terrible at most things- especially writing. I’m exceptionally good at one thing- face to face selling. My entire career was built off selling to women and teaching men to do the same. Selling is simply a transfer of emotions and women are prime receptacles for emotion, provided it will support her priorities.

  1. Women are more educated than ever- but not because they want to be. Education has a totally different meaning to men and women. For men, work and education determines whether he is a success or failure. Men are measured by a simple standard- their achievements and financial status/ power. That will never change, no matter how convoluted society becomes. There is no “out” for men in the form of marriage or pregnancy. If you fail, you’re screwed.

In developing countries like India and third world countries like Nigeria, the only “out” for women who are not the most attractive is education, simple because it gives them a chance to support themselves until they find an equally educated man( usually in college) whom they can marry. After which they have a few children and “retire” from work.

Sadly, for the majority of both attractive and unattractive women today, men are less likely to graduate, less likely to take on their roles as competitors and “bread winners” because society has rendered those traits undesirable and almost useless. Feminism has empowered women to believe that they don’t need “providers” and men have come to believe that this is true. As a result, highly educated single women now fall into two categories- those who can’t find a man more successful than them, and those who truly bought into the belief that they didn’t need men and are now past their prime.

Women who are in their late twenties and still working are either extremely unattractive, married, dating a man who is financially unsuccessful or, a career woman who has decided to give up long term relationships with men and children. Which leads us to the next truth I discovered:

  1. A woman in her late twenties who is unmarried and not in a long term relationship will often fulfill several criteria:

a) She is often beautiful

b) She frequently works in spaces where she has access to powerful and wealthy men.

c) Her income is spent soely on her- shoes, makeup, gym, expensive yoga pants/fitted gym wear, implants, cosmetic treatments, lip injections, hair and lash extensions, etc

d) She believes that her job makes her somewhat “equal” to men because it is frequently a career that men work in as well- journalism, therapy, social work, translation and some types of sales such as pharmaceutical, high end retail furniture and jewelry . Most of these jobs do not require a huge amount of responsibility. To excel in these careers, you must be exceptional, gifted and have polished your skill to a rare level. All others in these fields are among the latter of Pareto’s 80%, merely coasting surviving on meager commissions and salaries. Her career is made easier because there is an endless supply of “80%” men willing to help her out when her job gets tough.

e) She is fully aware that if she chose not to work, unlike her male counterparts, she would be just fine. He male co workers, making the same decision would find themselves homeless, under employed or as is the trend these days, back in their parents basements.

f) She complains about the “glass ceiling” and not being given an equal opportunity as other men.

g) She usually identifies as a feminist, but benefits too much from her attractiveness to overtly broadcast her affiliations.

 

  1. Women, particularly in the United States- do not consider their men to be in the same species as them. I mean this literally. This is evident to any man who is well travelled.
  2. Women’s groups runs a cabal that determines the culture of America. A handful of powerful men control this cabal. This is not a conspiracy theory.
  3. The sad truth about women’s lives is that many of them are in dire need of psychiatric therapy and suffer from varying forms of mental illness. I have pulled my fair share of women who burst out in tears inexplicably after or during sex ( a phenomenon which has increased only in the last 5 years or so- but resident players, correct me if I’m wrong), and constantly had to defend my company against litigation from defamation from damaged female ex employees.
  4. Unattractive women with little or no prospects for attracting powerful, wealthy or even well off providers are the originators of the feminist movement as well as every one of its modern incarnations that indignantly pollutes the streets topless, overly tattooed, and frequently overweight in name of “liberating women” from some thing or the other.

Fifty to sixty years ago, who would these women be? Well, first off, most of them would still be unattractive. They are the women who faced slim job prospects- not because they were unqualified, but because they lived in a time when many were rapidly becoming the victims of capitalism. Its simple- women who cannot get a man to support them or who cannot get married for one reason or the other have to work. Additionally , their employment prospects were tough. Back in the day, an employer, usually male, would invariable pick an equally qualified male of a a female because:

– He was unlikely to get pregnant. In fact, if he had kids, he work even harder. A better long term investment.

– She is most likely unattractive and not the type of woman he would want around his office.

Before anyone loses their mind of this fact, let me take a brief detour just say that having been on the decision making end of a recruiting table for most of my adult life in a dog eat dog sales niche, I can assure you that although I preferred to hire attractive women, I would frequently hire “exceptional” unattractive women were ever hired in my company. By “exceptional”, I’m referring to women who knew at a young age that their chances for marriage were slim, so they were ready to work hard and prove themselves/ afford the “female enhancements” that would improve their chances of getting a man. They worked hard and today, most of them are actually quite successful. Unattractive female sales reps also lack the mental limitations that males sales people placed on themselves. Never underestimate the power of a unattractive woman who wants the lifestyle awarded to the more attractive members of her sex.

To further prove this point, it was not unusual for me to design sales competitions with the prizes being spa packages that included chemical peels and Botox treatments for my female sales reps. I assure you, the unattractive ladies always won. The attractive female sales reps who occasionally won would request cash instead…and blow it all on some name brand handbag.

29.Despite how liberated women are- they will never take the “dirty jobs” that they have fought so hard to gain access to. No lineswomen, no commercial fisherwomen, no female loggers, no miners, no garbage women. The only place commercial fishermen and women cross paths is at sea when she is assaulting his vessel from the deck of Green Peace ship.

30.I always wondered why it felt like my mother was more doting towards her sons than her daughters. It took me the worse part of two decades to find out. Women love entirely differently from men. Biologically, women are only able to truly love their biological children- or their adopted children obtained as a result of their inability to bear children.

This is evidenced in my own mother leaving my father when he could no longer provide for her and her children. She then made all kinds of sacrifices to ensure our success- particularly the success of her sons. After all, who can she depend on with certainty to work hard and grant her freedom from hard work in her later days? (For the record- I love my mother and she does indeed get all that she wants and more. Her investment paid off. This is perhaps the only concession I will ever consciously make in the face of the relentless assault by women on our culture.)

Simply put, love makes masters of women and slaves of men.

So what is the point of this? Am a brainwashed, misogynistic, narcissist? Yes to the narcissist and no to the misogyny. I love women as fellow human beings necessary to our continued survival and I see the sad plight of men and women- particularly in the America. Women, however are still human and in tune with the saying “power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely”, women have become corrupted by the power and advantages freely and ignorantly given to them by men.

There actually IS a way for women and men to get along- but as human beings, we’ve lost our way. We are notorious for never learning from the past- for making the same mistakes over and over again.

Men have become conditioned to be docile, comfortable shadows of what nature intended us to be and women, like an African despot, refuse to give up power in the advantageous situation they have created for themselves.

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The real culprits are the puppet masters- the elites and their friends in government who actually support this insanity. It is in their best interests to keep women dependent on the state while feeling that they are “independent” of men. This is an experiment that is being conducted for the first time in history on such a global scale and it will not end well for two simple reasons:

  1. Men built the world.
  2. Women cannot survive without men- and not just any kind of man, but the very sort of man who builds worlds.

Conditioned men will hate this article, men who know the truth will share it among themselves and other men who are open to it, clueless women will parrot “mansplaining” and other feminist rhetoric they have been indoctrinated with, smart women read it, smirk and go on with their lives reasoning that it not their responsibility, compassionate and intelligent women will agree- but reason “ what can I do when most men won’t lead?”

If this article makes sense to you, but you have NO IDEA how to implement the paradigm shift in thinking, hang around the site, and read a few more articles. My Fearless Dating Program is a bootcamp designed to jumpstart your dating life if porn, sexual shame, depression or any other external factors have held you back- no matter your age, cultural background,or socio-economic status.

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  • tim wyndham

    Excellent points, Chris; I commend your insight-gathering abilities garnered in so few years. I’m almost twice your age, and was probably close to fifty before I clearly saw the truth of these observations. As a young “romantic” in the feminist seventies, with Alan Alda as a role model, I refused to relinquish the idealistic construct I had inherited from that era…but all your observations are quite true.
    Young men: If you would be willing to look deeply into life, and see the self-evident truth of these observations, you will be saved much heartache. If you can’t stand relinquishing your false notions, move to a Masculine-dominated, third-world country and enjoy that paradigm for however long it lasts…just don’t try to bring her back here because it will only be a matter of time (in the immortal words of Eddie Murphy in ‘Coming to America’) before she asks “Eddie…what means…*half*?”
    A strong and self-guided Man, once he has himself sorted out in the world, can and should try to rectify this huge social injustice, for the benefit of both men and women; This is my committment to the world, but requires constant vigilance against slipping into vapid allegiance to social mores, and holding to the truth despite what the world says in response.
    From my experience, one should never try to rehabilitate women through words; It is only through consistent, repeated action that the seeds of correct understanding will sprout in them, and they secretly LOVE having their illusions brushed aside by a focused, clear-minded man, even while protesting to the contrary.
    Thanks again, Chris,
    Tim Wyndham

    • Solid contribution, Tim.
      Good to have an older, experienced voice chime in.
      Thank you.

      • tim wyndham

        Another point to reflect upon, if I may….
        Women are herd animals, like horses; Men are more like dogs, as you might well know…but in the sense of being comfortable hunting alone, or travelling great distances alone, which does not appeal to the feminine at all.
        Women place great worth in their girlfriend’s opinions, and also in the mores of society at large (entirely a feminine construct, for better or worse)
        E.g. if her girlfriends like you, she will too
        Many women are in deep competition with their mothers and sisters for men’s attention, it’s generally a struggle that goes back for decades, and you are just seeing the tip of the iceberg on this one; Do not suck up to Moms and sisters, this will subtly backfire on you and you won’t know why.
        Jung pointed out a century ago that the essence of the feminine is “relatedness” to others, they live in a complex interconnected web of relations that is difficult to percieve from the outside.
        I often position myself as her “outlier” secret, to be kept to herself as a rare treasure she can call upon when her go-to girls (inevitably) fail (since no one of them is wiser than the rest)
        More later, Tim

  • bradyswenson

    This is a bunch of effing trash. If you got this far, I implore you to recognize this essay for the misogynist bullshit that it is.

    • Welcome, Brady and thank you for your knee jerk reaction to this article.You have been conditioned to react to anything that doesn’t conform to your conditioned mind.

      • bradyswenson

        It’s not a knee jerk reaction. I’ve been thinking about gender for a long time. It is a strong reaction, I’ll give you that. But deservedly so, I think.

        • Willing to give you an audience, if you will at the very least come up with an intelligent rebuttal instead of “imploring” people to “recognize misogyny”.Imploring and begging is not enough- you must have legitimate points.
          How is it misogynistic?
          “I’ve been “thinking” about gender for a long time” is not a qualification, Brady.

          • bradyswenson

            It’s pretty clear it’s not worth my time. But I had to leave at least a quick comment out of desperation.

          • If something incites desperation in you, how can it be “not worth your time?”

            Nah- you have nothing to say because your reaction was a knee jerk reaction to blatantly true commentary.You refuse to step past your conditioning and use your brain.

            You show up here dropping unintelligent comments using your real name and identity. Foolishness.

            I will leave your comments up as a typical example of the conditioned male reaction I wrote about in the article.

          • bradyswenson

            Nah. I figured you’d make that misunderstanding. Of course fighting misogyny like this is worth my time. But it’s not worth my time to try to educate you about your blatant misogyny in your comments section. If you want to learn why this is misogynist there are myriad resources for you far more qualified than me. That’s on you, man. Not me. I’ll call you out but that’s your journey to make.

          • Sorry, buddy- if you have nothing nothing of value to contribute except “this is misogyny” and “I’m too big to educate you”, then you are nothing more than a troll.

  • Brian

    Whoa.. Nothing like putting on display that you’re a grown wounded child in
    serious denial around your issues related to women. You even mentioned
    an original source of that with your parents – as if anyone wouldn’t
    realize that kind of abandonment and neglect didn’t have a
    profound effect. It all reeks of major trust disorders, excessive
    reality distortions, and difficulty feeling /empathizing /bonding
    and loving. But hey, at least you admitted you have NPD – it’s a start in reducing the inner pain that comes across here. And seems Brady had it figured out.

    Now wait for the highly defensive reply…which will inherently prove all of the above.

  • Kevin Aytche

    Great job on this article Chris!

  • Brendan

    I agree entirely with everything listed in the article and would further add to that list ad infinitum. And if I were accused of misogyny I’d say “No, I don’t hate femininity, I just hate most women.” It took tremendous grievances from women to arrive at this very severe – and, I feel entirely justifiable position. But having a genuinely warm, caring, and nurturing mother isn’t in the cards for many of us. My porn use is inextricably linked to my toxic and highly adversarial relationship with my mother. Although, I don’t blame her for it because I know my unhealthy coping mechanisms are my fault – entirely!

    It is extremely difficult to meaningfully interact with women these days, and it is easy to give up hope entirely. That is why porn is so irresistable, on MGTOW videos about porn use (those advocating for porn and VR) I constantly rail against it. Porn has wreaked havoc in my life because I have let it do so. Like Neville Goddard says “I have drunk this state to the dregs.” I have learned painful truths about women that can’t be unlearned because I have experienced them through women themselves. And I have learned excruciating lessons about myself through many painful failures and shortcomings inherent to my own character. But, what I have learned is that I must be pretty goddamned strong because nothing has been able to stop me thus far. Internet porn is my great test, for some reason it is the existential challenge sent to temper my soul. When I defeat this demon within myself there are no accolades and certainly no pretty trophy girl there with a medal and a magnum of champagne. There is only a sense of internal validation and victory. If there was ever a truth about women that is excruciating to accept it is that you will lose their fleeting sense of “love” and respect the very second you let them know what you had to overcome in order to get them.

    P.S. I appreciate the candor of this article. I just turned 30 myself and notice the clarity that can only come with age and experience. When I wanted to quit porn a half a lifetime ago it was entirely to get girls. Now, it is entirely to maximize the spark of potential imbued in my life. I’ve used the quit porn program and have managed to stay off for a few days at a time. But, I truly have an unfathomably stubborn porn addiction and can’t knock the program in any way for “making it go away.’ I’ve come to the conclusion the porn addiction goes away when it goes away. Thinking about it, not thinking about it, NoFap streak trackers, recovery books, meditation, getting out and living life, getting drunk, weight lifting, picking up chicks. Basically, just living life and moving towards a definite purpose is what is working.

    • Chris Haven

      Agree and disagree with some of your points. First off,realizing the truth about women is not a reason to lose hope- they are still human beings and a man has the ability to adapt and take advantage of the knowledge shared above.
      Despite the tone of the article, life is amazing for men who truly use such information as power.
      As for porn addiction- if you are truly addicted, it will never go away on its own. Having a definite purpose/ redirecting your energy towards something else will help- but the addiction remains. Case in point, a 71 year old client of mine who redirected his energy, worked long hours for most of his life, built multiple successful businesses, obsessed about his purpose, but upon retirement nearly 40 years later, promptly relapsed back into his addiction.
      Over the course of 40 years, by repressing his addiction, he picked up many other addictions which
      His pain now is worse than it ever was. My point: its better to handle it when you are young. It will probably be the toughest thing you ever do in your life.
      QPP is just a tool- the work is yours. My suggestion is to prioritize your recovery.

  • This opened my eyes in a big way. No, in a huge way. I’ve spent my life believing that all women were goddesses I was never good enough for. A good deal of my porn in recent years has been femdom, and now I realize that my attraction to that subject is a kind of Stockholm Syndrome that I need to free myself from. A recent cartoon quote I was reminded of as I read this article was “Women are people.”(Steven Universe, Story for Steven). I think the intent of these words by Greg in the back of the van, disgusted by Marty’s percieved misogyny, was to promote feminism(The creator of SU is a woman). However, as I read this article “Women are people” actually had the opposite effect. I’ve been placing them on too high a pedestal. This was confirmed by a recent conversation with my mom that kinda got out of hand, where a debate on morality forced my mom to admit that my concept of love and family were superior to hers. I was giving her too much credit. I was expecting her to be a wise teacher and sage guiding me through this part of my life when in reality I had surpassed her in many ways many years ago. She “Retired” when she became a mother, and quit college in 1979. From a detailed construction of her life ever since, there has been little to no advancement in her life. My Dad was “A Man’s Man” and was a shining example of the kind of powerful Male you describe; a rare species indeed. There was no reason for her to need anything but him, for the better part of 3 decades. Now that he’s gone, her flaws are bubbling to the surface, like a Rick without a Morty as a brainwave shield. My image of her as a guardian and teacher has been shattered and scattered to the 4 winds, leaving only the kind of woman you have described. It is enough of a reality smashing paradigm shift to make me so light headed as to become the kind of high that restricts the ability to operate heavy machinery. “The World is changed. I feel it in the earth. I feel it in the water. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live that remember it”-Galadriel, Lord of the Rings

    • Chris Haven

      Welcome to the real world, friend.

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