Your Porn First Aid Kit

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Lets face it- no matter how hard you try, some days, you’re hit with a porn craving so hard you just know that you’re going to give into it.

Human beings have a tendency to always try and willpower their way through tough habits and even addiction- knowing fully well that willpower is finite.

There are two parts to controlling your porn use. The first is daily maintenance and the second is having a plan for when you are triggered.

I call the plan you use when triggered your “ porn first aid kit”.

Use this when you notice thoughts, images and urges that overwhelm you till the point that you feel you might relapse, or when you daily maintenance is not strong enough.

Although I’ve been off porn for six years- I still apply at least one thing from my daily maintenance list to my life every  day. I’d be lying if I said I never had to use anything from my porn first aid kit, but I’ve had to as recently as November 2015.

In society today, we’re bombarded constantly by sexualized images- you never know when an image will creep deep into the recesses of your mind and trigger something- particularly if you choose a lifestyle like mine.

The daily maintenance list is made up of daily activities compiled from my various coaching clients.

1) Start every day with a personal planning session which should include:
a) Things you must do
b) Things you want to do
c) Making a mindful plan to learn, believe and take action

2) Pick one thing in your life that you can and will change today, no matter how little
3) Affirmations:

– Positive
– Realistic
4) Have a list of people you trust that you can talk to if needed- this can be your coach or partner.
5) Pick one or more tools to use from your tool kit
6) Workout
7) Practice mindfulness through meditation
8) Keep a journal with thoughts, quotes and notes that motivate you
9) Spend time with positive and supportive friends
10) Spend a few minutes in gratitude- write down a few of things you are grateful for in your life
11) Show appreciation to someone you specifically thanking them for something. A simple text will do.
12) Remind yourself of something you have succeeded in, write it down and think about it today

Mindfulness is consistently and purposefully choosing to think different, and then consistently and purposefully choosing to behave different.

Porn First Aid Kit

Your porn first aid kit is literally a “kit” made up of physical items you choose to carry around with you during the day.
I started out carrying a few items from the kit with me daily and as time went by, transitioned to reduced the items till I have only one item that serves as a reminder and an emergency “kit” in the unlikely event I get triggered.
If you currently have a porn problem, I recommend carrying at least three items of your own choosing from the kit.

I recommend that you don’t take this for granted or think that you are too cool/don’t have that much of a problem.
If you have lost control of your porn use, you owe it to your best self to do whatever the fuck necessary to fix it.

 

1) Write down all the “risks” in you life that usually trigger you to watch porn. When triggered, literally pull the card out and review it mindfully.
2) Design a “though shield”, or even better, get a tiny one made that you can carry around/ wear
3) Keep copies of inspiring quotes on 3×5 cards. Carry them around with you and look through the throughout the day to keep you focused.
*Some of my clients opt to put this in their phone, but I prefer the old school method of carrying something tangible with you.
4) Have a picture of someone whom you don’t want to let down in your kit- family or partner.
5) Write down your goals for a porn-free life, and put it in your wallet/ billfold. Carry it with you everywhere.

In summary, everyday, decide on two or three things you can do from your daily list. If you are having a particularly tough day, take something from your first aid kit to help you be successful and not relapse.

I first decided to use daily maintenance and the porn first aid kit months before I actually implemented everything above. Why? I was a huge procrastinator.

If you’ve got this far into the post, listen up:

Your daily maintenance and the porn first aid kit are simple, but not easy. They are simple ideas to grasp, yet very difficult to implement.Yet these two simple things helped me change some of my core porn habits. Habits that I had for over a decade.

Guys, I’ve put together a basic program to help you get over procrastination. Your life is too short and precious to spend on porn. The Habit of Now will help you master one of the most important skills you need as a man. The skill of Taking Action Now. Pick up your copy below:

Final

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