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“You’re such a loser Chris!”… “I can’t believe I fucking watched that shit.”…. “Oh God…what have I done?”..
The shame. Its horrible. Every man who crossed the line in his porn habit, masturbated to some new fetish to satisfy his craving or acted out his porn induced sexual urges in real life has been through this.
Shame is the most powerful consequence of your porn or sex addiction because it stops you from seeking out the help and support of others that you need. Shame pushes your destructive behavior so deep into you that you reach a point where you accept the “fact” that this is who you are. Shame is the shackle that keeps your bound to your addiction.
I’m here to tell you that you are not alone in your addiction to porn. You don’t have some weird psychological issue. You are not a “shady” person.
I don’t care whether you are just realizing that you may have an addiction or if you’re a straight guy having anonymous sex with guys of the internet. Shemale porn, Hentai, child porn or snuff. Whatever gets you off, I don’t care. I’ll tell you what my mom always told me:
“YOU ARE NOT YOUR MISTAKES.”
She was right. The person you are right now and the image you have of yourself is who you are, what you have always been and all that you ever will be.You cannot change it because YOU did not create it. However, you can realize it, and maximize what you already are by truly understanding yourself. Before you dismiss this as metaphysical mumbo jumbo, understand that all I am talking about is self-acceptance.
Self acceptance simply mean coming to terms and accepting who we are at this moment, with all our failures, shortcomings, bad habits and weaknesses. So many men run away from self acceptance because they identify themselves with their addiction. Sure, you screwed up, but this does not mean that you are a screw-up.
The first step towards self acceptance is recognizing and accepting the fact that the person you are today naturally- the person you were raised to become is never perfect. In your lifetime, though you will always move towards this goal, you will never become the complete, perfect man who has absolute control over his sexual cravings.
As I went through the process of quitting porn( my reboot), I frequently went through stages where I would relapse and act out in real life. I did things that I considered to be incredibly shameful. As I worked on myself, however, I realized that I wasn’t “worthless” or “fucked” because I relapsed anymore than your laptop is worthless because of a persistent error message, or a car which has a damaged water pump.
Stop beating yourself up because you are not perfect. There are millions of men out there keeping you company. The moment you meet a man who claims he is perfect- especially with regards to his sexual cravings, consider it bullshit.
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