The following is a guest post by Kino Suave, “The Gentleman Chauvinist“
I am proud to say that I piss people off. Lots of people based on the amount of hate email I get after my articles are posted on the internet.
It would seem strange to be validated by hate and disdain but I must admit I love it. The reason I love to be hated is because 90% of the people that hate me are men. The reason they hate me is because they think I am somehow offending the sensibility of poor helpless hapless women. These men see me as some sort of predator teaching men to seduce innocent women. Not only does this make me smile for the simple thrill of ruffling a few feathers, it makes me smile because it’s completely asinine. These men are caught up in some WW2 era romanticized version of women.
The modern woman is a capable creature. Women enter college at a rate higher than men and they graduate at a higher percentage. These ladies are smart and capable. They are knowledgeable and can make their own decisions. If you think seducing a woman is somehow a crime, you really underestimate her capability to make decisions for herself.
So you men that are threating to post my personal information online, beat me up, hack my accounts, and whatever other nonsense I’ve heard. Get the hell over it, I don’t offend women, I offend you.
Women love me. Why do women love me? Women love me because I respect them for all their complexity. Guess what, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a respectable classy lady and wanting to be pile driven in to an earth shattering orgasm by a sexy man. There is nothing wrong with expecting a man to juggle both respecting you and desiring you in a lustful way. There is nothing wrong with expecting a man to understand that you sometimes want to be made love too, and sometimes fucked like an animal. These ideas aren’t problems for women. These ideas are problems for men.
How many times have I heard women complain about men being overly sexually forward? How many times have I heard women complain about men never making a move? How many times have I heard women complain about a man not taking charge in bed? I haven’t actually counted but I can assure you it has been many, many, many times.
You see, what I teach men is “How to understand what she wants.” Seduction is the art form of leading someone down a path they wanted to travel down in the first place. Therefore, by simple definition seduction isn’t about the man or his desires. The art of seduction is about her. Does, she want you to slow down or does she want you to ramp it up? Does she just want a kiss or does she want to be fucked?
Does she see you as a friend or a lover? Let me tell you something buddy, ultimately you don’t make the call, she does. All I do is teach men to have a better understanding of what’s going on in her mind.
You see the situation that women really hate is when men misread their signals. These situations either leave her frustrated and wanting more attention or awkwardly turning away advances (sometimes repeatedly) when she doesn’t want that attention. Is she subconsciously sending signals for you to move forward or is she sending you signals that she likes you as a friend. Just because she went to dinner with you, doesn’t mean that she’s open to having sex with you. On the flipside just because she had sex with you, doesn’t necessarily mean she’s open to having dinner with you. These are the types of misunderstandings that make women uncomfortable. Unfortunately these are the types of situations they have to deal with because most often men simply don’t have a clue as to how to read their signals. The burden is hers to bear. In my opinion it should be his responsibility.
I once had a conversation with a woman that found out her boyfriend had been cheating. She told me she got dressed to kill and went out a seduced the hottest sexiest guy she could find that very night.
Another woman told me that she refused to sleep with men that she really was interested in for 90 days. This was her strategy to be sure that he was truly invested.
Another time a woman told me she wasn’t open to a relationship with her ex but she did sleep with him on occasion. When I asked her why she continued to sleep with him, she said very matter of “Well someone has to fuck me.”
The beauty of all these stories are the same, they each illustrate the reality that the woman makes the call. These women weren’t promiscuous. They were simply empowered and in control. They may let men feel like we are calling the shots, but that’s just a beautiful illusion they let us believe.
Did you really think when you invited her to your place to watch a movie and have some dinner that sex just happened? Please bro, get over yourself. Yes, you may be smoother than the average guy, but she let it happen.
One of my favorite experiences was when I had to give a presentation on “How to be sexual with Women” to a group of men. Well I thought it would be a group of men. One of our guests was a woman, a card carrying feminist actually. When I entered the venue, I could immediately feel her glare burning a hole in my face. From what I gathered was she had read the itinerary and decided that she was not going to like me. Who was I to be telling men how to be sexual with women?
I proceeded and gave my presentation in all its glory. I held nothing back. At the end of the presentation, as I was the last presenter I was surrounded by the men asking questions. I saw her coming out of the corner of my eye and mentally braced myself for what was about to happen. She pushed her way through the throng of men and looked me square in the eye. With a strong British accent she said “When I came in here. I was determined to hate you. I’m a proud feminist and former lesbian and I was going to let you have it. But.you get it. You get what men don’t understand. I can’t wait to tell my girlfriends and my male friends, especially my male friends, oh they are so clueless.”
What’s wrong with learning how to present oneself in the best possible fashion? What’s insidious about learning to read body language? What’s wrong with learning how to read her communication signals?
There is nothing inherently wrong with any of those practices. I don’t apologize for it, nor will I ever apologize or be shamed for teaching men how to increase their chances of being successful with women. I will never be ashamed of teaching men these strategies because regardless of what I do, what I teach, or what I preach, the bottom line will always remain the same. “It’s all about her, our job as a seducer is simply to increase the likelihood that she’ll choose us.”
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