“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”
I frequently hear from men who are just worn out by the ass whooping life has served them over the years.They’ve spent years trying to quit porn and failed,their experiences with women are riddled with failure,rejection,broken relationships, betrayal and pain.I’ve been there.I would look at myself in the mirror and see the reflection of an ugly man, awkward and broken.I’d come home from a bar after striking out for the 4th night that week,pass out drunk and wake up hating myself.I would proceed to my laptop,watch a few dozen porn clips for a few hours sometimes,blow a load(or two) and begin my day which was never fulfilling because of the vague undercurrent of “loser” permeating my day.It was lose,lose,lose all the way for me.
I had essentially given up on winning,and so have some of you.
Sometimes we look at people around us that win all the time. They win at school, they win on the track,win with women, they win at their jobs;they’re just consistently good at what they do and they’re always on top.How do they do it?What inspires them to want to win all the time?
I’ll tell you.Its dreaming.Yes, dreaming.Dreaming is the inspiration for winning. Its the fuel for desire.Its one of the most powerful tools you can have in your belt. No one who ever became anything got there without having a huge, dream burning with desire within them. I firmly believe that without a big dream you are dead.And by dead, I mean your chances of being “somebody” are dead.Taking you back to the old school-in Napoleon Hill’s book “Think and Grow Rich”,which is as relevant today as it was 70 years ago,the one theme he found running consistently through the lives of all the successful people he interviewed was that they were BIG dreamers.Despite the colossal nature of their dreams, they never gave in.Think of desire as a huge fire that needs to constantly burn to keep you from becoming mediocre like most people in the world.Well, dreaming is the firewood for that fire.Keep throwing it in there!
Remember when you were a kid? When you wanted to be an astronaut? A doctor, something incredible?Or when you were a teen and fantasized about dating gorgeous women you saw in the theaters and in magazines?There were so many women I dreamed of being with! Did you know that in classrooms around the world,from affluent suburbs to the slums or third world countries, children dream big?Somewhere along the line, as we grow, we become “realistic”. I hate the word so much.”Realistic”. Realistic means at some point you decided that dreams were for children and adults don’t have the luxury or privilege to indulge in such fantasies.You buy into some bullshit that you’re not tall enough,attractive enough,rich enough,white enough,black enough,purple enough,your dick isnt big enough to get with the women you really desire.You realize that you aren’t the most important person in the world and your self esteem takes a few blows.Your dreams seem so far away,so unattainable and you lose your self confidence. Ever seen a homeless person who seems to be in great health and have a sound mind? Ever wondered why they were on the streets begging?Those are people who have given up on their dreams.People who quit.It isn’t funny,nor is it something to be taken lightly.Its the sad truth.A kid growing up in a slum, who dreams of being a doctor,does it with the same fervor and desire as a kid born into affluence.He or she doesn’t know what “privilege” means.They only understand desire.Have the courage to be a kid and dream again.
How to Support your Dreams:
Immerse yourself in an environment that encourages you to dream:
Most men are not encouraged to dream.Their wives may not tell them that they can become whatever they desire to become.When was the last time somebody told you that she believed in you and that you’d be somebody? In fact, unless you proactively looks for encouragement for your dreams, you will end up just going with the flow.The mediocre flow.
There are different environments that support dreams.I’ve been to some awesome men’s group in some cities that are full of encouragement and hope.
If you are aware of the pick-up community,there are a few groups that truly support men’s dating dreams and work hard at enabling them achieve their goals,whether its getting a girlfriend, a wife, or just getting laid consistently.
I used to be a great skeptic of visualization.Imagining yourself as a successful person?Crazy. Fortunately, learned through trial and error that visualization is one of the most powerful means to strengthening your dreams. Visualization is imagining yourself in the role of the person you desire to become. Whether its a financially independent entrepreneur,a fit,ripped man dating a gorgeous woman or picking up a girl from a bar, seeing yourself being that person in detail is crucial.In detail means visualizing yourself approaching an attractive woman, speaking to her, imagining her soft touch as responds to your touching,feeling the electricity and excitement as you realize her attraction to you, down to going out on a date with her, bringing her home, making love to her,penetration,her moan as you enter her…everything in detail.
You know whats more crucial than simply visualizing? Writing down your dreams and goals. I’ve sat down in countless meeting, interviews and training sessions where men just stare intently at me as I speak,enraptured by all they are hearing, trusting that their reliable brain will download every single golden nugget of information.If you don’t take notes in training, in important meeting at work or in school,chance are you don’t write down you dreams and goals either.Guess what happens when you don’t put your dreams to paper? Thats right.Nothing.
Include people you care about in your dreams:
Some of the most fulfilling dreams are shared dreams. Whether its with your wingman, your close friends nothing beats a person who accepts your dream,buys into it and keeps you accountable when the going gets tough and you feel like quitting. When you get negative, having someone there to remind you to keep a positive attitude and to tell you how awesome you are is simply amazing.I have a circle of friends I met in college that still keeps each other motivated specifically in our goals with women,or relationships and our lifestyle.We’re always supporting each other and its awesome.
Quitting porn isn’t easy.Consistently attracting the women we desire isn’t easy.Simple,yes- but far from easy.You’ll feel like quitting, you’ll feel like a public nuisance sometimes, your self esteem will be so low you have to look up to see bottom.But you have a dream. You want to prove to yourself that you can truly live without porn.You dream of actually having sex with a woman as attractive as your favorite pornstar.You want to quit hiding your porn addiction from your spouse.You want to be somebody.So you dream.And you go another day without porn,boldly talk to another attractive girl and get her number,go on another date.You know if you keep learning and keep trying and keep believing in yourself, you’ll get there.You dream and never quit dreaming,because you know that whatever you dream about, you’ll eventually become.So do it now.Dream Again.